New Community??

I’ve been thinking about the blogosphere today. I realize that many have pondered this in the past and likely many more will ponder it in the future. The thought was started by my friend Amy’s comment on another of my posts. She made the statement “How cool. Our youth group reconnects a decade later in the blogosphere”. This simple statement began a plethora of thoughts in my mind. In a society where almost everything is internet-based, it makes perfect sense that the best way to reconnect with old friends is through the medium of blogs, emails, and web pages. I would have never dreamed when I started using the internet a decade ago that a day would come where my primary method of keeping up with the happenings of friends would be electronic. It has become such a widely spread trend that even my electronically challenged parents are emailing, commenting on blogs, and searching Google for information.

These facts turned me towards a line of thinking that astonishes even my conservative views. I began thinking about online dating. Yes, girls, I said the ill-fated words “online dating.” Now, we are all thinking of the risks of online dating. There are so many possible outcomes to meeting someone over the internet. Married men posing as single; non-Christians posing as Christians; men saying whatever they think a woman wants to hear; men that can’t be trusted, pretending to be upstanding citizens; and men misrepresenting physical or financial aspects of themselves, just to name a few. However, I can’t help but wonder why we are so against this manner of meeting new people in a world where we do almost everything on the internet. For instance, most of our news sources are on the web, instead of sending handwritten letters, we email, we no longer go to a car lot before searching the internet so that we can have the upper hand with the salesman, we listen to webcasts and online radio and we post personal information about ourselves in various blogs. It would seem to me that a single girl, especially of a certain age, has little choice in the matter of meeting new people. I’ve tried every avenue that a single, Christian woman can possibly try, and all to no avail. I could argue that I recently moved to a small town where chances of meeting nice young adult men are scarce. Yet, having just moved to this small town from the much larger city of Tulsa, I cannot validate that argument since I know that even in a larger town or city, it is difficult to meet a nice, trustworthy man who doesn’t think of bar-hopping as a “great way to meet chicks.” Furthermore, one (in other words, my parents) might argue that meeting someone on the internet is dangerous because you don’t really know them and the aforementioned risks. Let me just say from personal experience (and I do mean my personal naivety) that you can meet someone in a Christian environment and still find that they misrepresent themselves and are just as dangerous, or perhaps even more so because meeting someone face to face usually leads to letting them into your life a little more quickly than you would someone you were corresponding with via email.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying to run out and get a profile on a personals website and start meeting new people. I’ve had friends that did and were disappointed. What I am saying is that perhaps we should consider the possibility that there is a chance he might be out there in the internet world somewhere, wondering if he’ll ever find you.

It’s something to think about, and to be honest I don’t know if it’s a good idea or not. I don’t know that I’ll be able to commit to giving it the “old college try.” I don’t know that I’ll ever feel it is safe or smart. I don’t know that there won’t be disappointments. I don’t know that it is for everyone. I’ve just been thinking about whether or not it’s worth a shot, that’s all.

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6 thoughts on “New Community??

  1. Jana Swartwood says:

    I read a really fascinating article in the Atlantic Monthly on the idea of online dating and several of the most prominent companies. It was fascinating. I’ll have to try to see if I can send it to you…the site is usually password protected, but I’ll see if it will let me forward the article. You already know my personal opinion on the matter (that I don’t necessarily see anything wrong with it, as long as you are careful, but that I don’t necessarily think it’s the best avenue for everyone). I know that, at this point in my life, I am not interested in trying it again. But it works for a lot of people. Who knows?

  2. Amy says:

    I know a few couples who met online and married. A good friend of mine did the eharmony thing for a year. She gave me her login info so I could read through the profiles of guys she was matched with. It seemed like a good program.

  3. spachickie says:

    I have moved back to a small town and have been here three years now after my divorce. This is what I have noticed….I don’t need anyone to rescue me, I don’t need any children raised, and I can pay my own mortgage. This seems to intimidate men. They don’t seem to understand what to do with me. Don’t rescue me…just accompany me, make me laugh. It really is that easy. Online dating is looking good as of right now, and I do know a few who met their spouses online

  4. Coley says:

    I have a good friend who tried eHarmony and she was very disappointed. She shared a lot of her experience with me and frankly it just didn’t measure up to all the hype it advertises. The biggest problem is misrepresentation, in all cases. People can be as honest as George Washington, and still “enhance” things about themselves as a selling point. It can get pretty discouraging. I think the most important thing to do in any dating medium, whether it be online or in person, is to make certain to “pray without ceasing” about the situation and to LISTEN to the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit. (Good advice for myself as much as anyone, right Jana?)

  5. Coley says:

    I can tell the secret now, Meagan. When I posted this, I was hoping Stan would read it and it might spark some hope that someday something could happen between us. It was a longshot, but obviously, it wasn’t impossible!

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