The Pop Machine Doesn’t Like My Dollar

Down the hall from my desk is a pop machine. (It is actually a Coke machine, because it has Coke products, but I’m not even going down that road again.) I frequent this machine for Diet Coke and bottled water. For some reason, the machine isn’t very fond of my dollar bills. I have never stood at the machine with my dollar in hand where I didn’t have to try at least two times to get the machine to take my dollar. It doesn’t matter if my dollar is very old, moderately used, or brand new. The machine always spits it back out at me (and inwardly I’m pretty sure it is laughing at the stupid girl who keeps putting the same dollar back in multiple times, truly believing that it will work eventually. I think the highest number of tries for me has been 7.) I’ve tried flattening it out on the corner of the machine, the metal doorpost, and with my fingernails. It is very frustrating. So, I’ve asked others in my department about this problem, and guess what? NO ONE ELSE HAS HAD THIS HAPPEN TO THEM! So, that’s it! It’s official. It is me. Somehow, somewhere in the six months I’ve been working at this job, I have offended this machine, therefore causing it to constantly refuse my money until it finally decides it has had a good enough laugh and accepts my request for a beverage. Technology, sheesh!

16 thoughts on “The Pop Machine Doesn’t Like My Dollar

  1. Mark Short says:

    Oh, so now you’re offending pop machines. Go figure… At least it’s not JUST people. Ha… Machines have a mind of their own and this one seems to have a really sharp one to recognize you when you’re coming and decide to reject your efforts to extract some nice cold beverage from it’s inner regions. I love this machine. More power to it…

  2. Sarah says:

    Nicole, the machine is just so impressed with your determination! It has never seen such focus and delights in seeing if it can stretch you! Or perhaps it has a crush on you and shows it like an elementary aged boy! =) (There’s always a positive spin!)

  3. Mark Short says:

    Well I can see I’m already getting a bad name on this blog thing. Nicole you’ll have to bail me out (if you will) and explain that our relationship and love for each other is based on our ability to be sarcastic to each other. It’s one of those if we didn’t give each other a hard time we wouldn’t give each other any time kind of deals. Ha…. You know I love you… There I said it publically.Now I hope jana will understand I mean no harm, just perpetuating a relationship.

  4. Coley says:

    Now Mark, why would I defend you when I’m getting so much sympathy here??? It’s great!Seriously, if Mark didn’t make fun of me and make sarcastic comments, I would think he was upset with me. It really is done in a loving way! (By the way, he is paying me to say this!)Love you, Mark!Oh and Sarah, I love the positive spin you put on the situation! Maybe the machine does have a crush on me. After all, I am pretty crush-worthy!!!Too bad, crazy Coke machine, I’m not interested!!!! (Ask me why! Ask me why!)

  5. stan says:

    If Mark’s paying you to say that he’s actually a good guy, make sure he pays you in change that the Coke machine will accept… Okay, I’ll bite: Why aren’t you interested? Is it because a Coke machine is by design high-maintenance? Because it can’t protect you against ranine intruders? Because all it wants is money? Or is there…DUN DUN DUN….someone else???

  6. Coley says:

    Well, Stan, I’m so glad you asked . . . In answer to your questions, yes, yes, yes, and um . . .hmmm . . . someone else? Well, I mean, um, I–I . . . uh . . . I’ll come back to that one in a moment. Anyway . . . The Coke machine is entirely too high-maintenance. It is a very self-oriented piece of machinery. Always take, take, take. Never once sent me flowers, or even a little postcard. Nothing. Also, the machine, rather than providing a barrier to vile creatures (i.e. something green that hops), actually serves as a great hiding place for just such an intruder. It is constantly expecting money, always demanding $.90 before even considering the idea of “tis better to give than to receive.” And as for the question of someone else . . . . Well, there is a distinct possibility that the Coke machine might have a little competition on its hands!

  7. Jana Swartwood says:

    *rolling eyes* Just say it already. 🙂And Mark, may I offer you my most sincere apologies. I wasn’t aware that your sarcasm was an expression of love. (Well, actually, I thought it might be, but it was more fun to be mean back!)

  8. Coley says:

    Sarah, you heard it here first! Stan’s right, the someone else is R.C. Pepsiman. I’ve been unfaithful to the Coke machine. I just hope he can forgive me!

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