Today . . . Shakespeare

LEONATO By my troth, niece, thou wilt never get thee a husband, if thou be so shrewd of thy tongue.

ANTONIO In faith, she’s too curst.

BEATRICE Too curst is more than curst: I shall lessen God’s sending that way; for it is said, ‘God sends a curst cow short horns;’ but to a cow too curst he sends none.

LEONATO So, by being too curst, God will send you no horns.

BEATRICE Just, if he send me no husband; for the which blessing I am at him upon my knees every morning and evening. Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face: I had rather lie in the woollen.

LEONATO You may light on a husband that hath no beard.

BEATRICE What should I do with him? dress him in my apparel and make him my waiting-gentlewoman? He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man: and he that is more than a youth is not for me, and he that is less than a man, I am not for him: therefore, I will even take sixpence in earnest of the bear-ward, and lead his apes into hell.

LEONATO Well, then, go you into hell?

BEATRICE No, but to the gate; and there will the devil meet me, like an old cuckold, with horns on his head, and say ‘Get you to heaven, Beatrice, get you to heaven; here’s no place for you maids:’ so deliver I up my apes, and away to Saint Peter for the heavens; he shows me where the bachelors sit, and there live we as merry as the day is long.

From Act II, Scene I of Much Ado About Nothing

4 thoughts on “Today . . . Shakespeare

  1. Coley says:

    Nope. I’m afraid it goes no deeper than just my simple love of all things Shakespeare. I actually wanted to post Act IV, Scene II, but I honestly thought some might find it offensive, so I refrained. I was just in the mood to post a little of Will’s work.

  2. Coley says:

    It did occur to me as I was posting that this would probably be better suited to Literary Ramblings, but I had just put up a new post there and since I was on a roll with the posting, decided to hit both in one day! (Besides, I justified it with the fact that Much Ado is a comedy and therefore “less serious” than say, Hamlet.)

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