LEONATO By my troth, niece, thou wilt never get thee a husband, if thou be so shrewd of thy tongue.
ANTONIO In faith, she’s too curst.
BEATRICE Too curst is more than curst: I shall lessen God’s sending that way; for it is said, ‘God sends a curst cow short horns;’ but to a cow too curst he sends none.
LEONATO So, by being too curst, God will send you no horns.
BEATRICE Just, if he send me no husband; for the which blessing I am at him upon my knees every morning and evening. Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face: I had rather lie in the woollen.
LEONATO You may light on a husband that hath no beard.
BEATRICE What should I do with him? dress him in my apparel and make him my waiting-gentlewoman? He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man: and he that is more than a youth is not for me, and he that is less than a man, I am not for him: therefore, I will even take sixpence in earnest of the bear-ward, and lead his apes into hell.
LEONATO Well, then, go you into hell?
BEATRICE No, but to the gate; and there will the devil meet me, like an old cuckold, with horns on his head, and say ‘Get you to heaven, Beatrice, get you to heaven; here’s no place for you maids:’ so deliver I up my apes, and away to Saint Peter for the heavens; he shows me where the bachelors sit, and there live we as merry as the day is long.
From Act II, Scene I of Much Ado About Nothing
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So, why did you choose to post this? Is there more meaning than just your love of Shakespeare!?!Love ya!!
Nope. I’m afraid it goes no deeper than just my simple love of all things Shakespeare. I actually wanted to post Act IV, Scene II, but I honestly thought some might find it offensive, so I refrained. I was just in the mood to post a little of Will’s work.
Oh, that would have been a funny one!!! So sad that you didn’t. I’m surprised, though, that you posted it on this blog and not the literary one.
It did occur to me as I was posting that this would probably be better suited to Literary Ramblings, but I had just put up a new post there and since I was on a roll with the posting, decided to hit both in one day! (Besides, I justified it with the fact that Much Ado is a comedy and therefore “less serious” than say, Hamlet.)